Tales of the Employed-but-not-enjoying-it-much Part 13 (Work and Wabbits)

Yes yes we know, its been a while but what can we say, we are working girls now. We are now both earning money in interesting fashions, if not necessarily enjoying it entirely. Anyone who has spoken to Hollie will know that a career in IT is most definitely NOT beckoning; the money may be good but it doesn’t make up for mind numbingly painful work, combined with mind numbingly boring colleagues! On the other hand it’s pay day tomorrow so who knows, her frame of mind may take a turn for the better.

All this work and some very hard playing at weekends such as going to media parties, travelling round the country and lots of drinking has meant there is little time for world musing however today there was a break and a flash of inspiration…

Office Rabbits. Sarah’s family have been toying with the idea of getting a rabbit for a while; though we probably won’t get one the idea of having one appeals.

So we were thinking what would happen if you had a pets corner at work like in primary school?

The influence it would have on the work place would be brilliant. For a start, it would make people shout less, because if they shouted it would scare it and then they would feel bad about scaring a poor little rabbit so not shout as much.

Also if anyone was really stressed they could go and stroke the rabbit for a while and it would calm them down and then they could go back to work happy and whistling a merry tune.

You would also need a rabbit monitor and everyone could take it in turns, this would require a rota and everyone getting involved so instantly there would be more communication rather than everyone just sitting at their desks not talking. Screw those expensive bonding weekends organised by the management department just get a rabbit then everyone will get along. Well that’s our theory anyway.

Then if the rabbit went down well you could get a hamster. The options are endless.

On that note there is wine to be drunk and thoughts of rabbits to be had. We’re off to see lovely people in Oxford tomorrow night and seeing more friend type things on Saturday so we’re feeling very popular all of a sudden. Hooray for university holidays and our un-culled friends who are still at uni.

Tales of the Unemployed Part 12 (Doors and Holidays)

Today is an extraordinary day - for the first time in quite a while both of us are in paid employment and will be all week; yes, an entire week of work. However kids, don’t get too excited, Hollie hates her job with the fire of a thousand suns and next week Sarah goes back to earning only three days a week.

In other news, there is more rejection for the team, Hollie's mum thinks Sam's number is up and Sarah literally walked into a door this morning (it really hurt) !!!

However these are all things we don’t want to talk about, on a lighter subject the weekend was jolly good fun with Sarah becoming the dancing queen of Brighton whilst Hollie booked a holiday (as clearly she hasn't had enough holidays recently)! Yippy.

With all this work happening we both realise and apologise for the lack of unemployed musing that used to take place. Frankly I can’t think of anything to muse about but as soon as I do you shall all know about it.

On that note I guess its back to work!

Tales of the Unemployed Part 11 (The End of An Era - For A While)

It’s a bit strange. I’m looking at my diary and there are lots of things written in it. To be precise, I am going to be busy until the first of June! It’s rather perturbing, having a feeling of usefulness where before there was just general apathy. The void of unemployment is coming to an end for me, at least for a little while. It’s not just me either – part of the reason I’m bumming about writing this is because Sarah’s at work *cough*traitor*cough*.

So why all this activity all of a sudden? Well further to our discussion of our dads getting us work the other day, I am definitely going to be working full time for a month, starting this Friday. In the space of this morning I’ve also managed to get a month’s publishing work experience sorted for after that, with just a couple of weeks’ breathing space to convince myself I’m not really a full time working woman. What with a sort of job interview thing on Thursday and another enthralling day of data entry (hoorah), the upshot of all of this is that today is my last day of sitting on my arse eating yoghurt and watching the Tyra Banks Show!

Watching ‘Spaced’ the other day (yes I ran out of Peep Show) I was presented with the question, ‘Does inactivity breed laziness?’. Well the answer is yes. If today is the time to reflect on my six weeks of almost unadulterated sloth since my return from more pleasant lands, I can safely say that I have never been so unproductive in my life (excluding infanthood, obviously). Being a lady of leisure is undoubtedly over rated.

Well I feel like I've talked about myself enough for one day. I'll leave you with an exciting follow up to the West Morlands Gazette story - here. Once again the comments are priceless. Good old West Morlands I say.

Hollie

Tales of the Unemployed Part 10 (Burning Chairs)

Today we realised that no matter how bad it gets, there is still someone that has it a little bit worse; we could be the journalist that to report on this. However if you look at the comments it has been the most commented story the West Morlands Gazette has had for a while. So in fact it could be much worse we could be resident of West Morlands, if this story is anything to go by it is clearly the most happening place in the whole country!

Its been a fairly active week for the two of us, with job interviews (don't worry, I doubt anything will come of it), cinema outings, trips to gigs and the pub (well in Sarah's case anyway). Hollie entered data (she's really lucky).

We have also come to the conclusion this week that nepotism is a very good thing as we now both owe our main sources of income to our fathers getting us work. This however is a clever ruse on their part as they no longer have to pay for us and their companies do.

Well as it's Friday night we are going to do what any crazy fun loving London girl does - we're uploading tunes to Hollie's computer and eating lots of chocolate. Rock on!

Tales of the Unemployed Part 9 (Mmm... Brownies)

Another week has passed filled with… well, not very much at all, actually. Hollie has begun temping in earnest and has so far spent one day making a database of builders in the North East (but now knows there are plenty of bricklayers in Yarm) and another stuffing envelopes and entertaining a 9 month old. Other than that, most assignments seem to be 6 months long, which is clearly not the name of the game. Continued employment? Pah! Clearly £50 per week isn’t going to help the ‘moving out of home’ fund but at least it pays for the occasional pilgrimage to the pub.

In terms of ‘real jobs’, our findings from the last few days are that there aren’t any. This phase of Operation Get A Job may take a little while yet at this rate. This tempts us to make Rhetorical Question of the Day: ‘Where Are The Jobs?’ but we unfortunately know the answer – people with non-arty farty degrees have got them. God damn!

The Friend Cull was in serious risk of being revoked last weekend. Frighteningly, we spent not just one, but two evenings in the company of people other than ourselves. Friday was especially scary as Hollie spoke to a couple of people she didn’t know, thereby putting herself at risk of gaining a new friend! Luckily Saturday was more low key and involved watching Brokeback Mountain and eating brownies. Jake Gyllenhaal and chocolate, what more could a girl want? (Jake Gyllenhaal covered in chocolate hummmm)

Sarah’s paid work seems to be going ok, if only in an administrative-y sort of way. Disturbingly she was at work until 10.30pm the other day – she seems a bit too keen to work if you ask me. If she carries on like this someone might want her full time! What makes it worse is she had to give up doing free work to enable her to get paid!!! Ahhh whats happening the balance is all wrong. Fear not she still does some free work so the world isn’t ending just yet.

It would be wrong to let this blog slip by with out mentioning Valentines. Frankly it is overrated and passed both of us by in a fairly understated fashion. Hollie ate chocolate with her mum and Sarah went to see two films she had already seen (Annie Hall and Brief Encounter) and ate doughnuts. Who needs romantic weekend breaks and over priced meals at crap resturants!

Well that’s all for now surely there must be some brownies left to consume.

P.S. If you Google our names this website is now number two! Unfortunately number one is still a Canadian hairdresser for Hollie, but you can't win em all. Aaaand if you Google 'Tales of the Unemployed', we are no less than number 5. Fame and fortune, here we come!!

Comments

Hello, just to let people know that I've changed the setting on comments so now anyone can make one, not just google members or whatever it was.

Hope everyone's having an equally productive V-Day to me!

Tales Of The Unemployed Part 8 (Rejection and cups of tea)

Big news, Hollie received her first rejection (cheer noises) yes she is now a lesser mortal like Sarah, but did she let it get her down? Nope! She drank tea and made a cake, it would seem that rejection has turned her into somewhat of a domestic goddess. Oh she also joined a temp agency, but that’s not as exciting as cake.

We are still being writers and have spent most of today working on your future BAFTA winning screen play!!!!! And then decided that we needed to be achieving more so set up our own PR agency and all before lunch! This being job less is a doddle.

We think that it is now time to introduce Sam to our readers. He is small fluffy and always there when we need him, he also smells a bit. Yep he is Hollies little dog. He is not and we must stress this a lap dog or a handbag dog, Sam is a foot dog (he sits on our feet). Having said that he may have to be upgraded for something handbag sized if we are to become Sex and The City-esque PR moguls. The reason we are mentioning him is that most of our readers will know him as something of an institution. After all he is 15 and a half years old (that’s over 100 in dog years we think) and has survived through many of Hollie’s house parties. This is despite once being dyed pink and hiding out under a bush, meaning he had to be coaxed out using Maltesers. Now in old age, unable to hear and slightly incontinent, Sam still manages to entertain us while we are lazing about… I mean job hunting. I might try and put a photo up so everyone can pay their respects to the living legend that is Hollie’s dog.

And now it is time for our occasional feature, Rhetorical Question Of The Day.

Where Are The Famous Lesbians?

Think about it, seriously. We can only think of a few off hand. Moira Stewart and Pat Butcher, obviously. Ellen. Jodie Foster. Anne Heche until she went all straight. There have GOT to be more. Answers on a postcard.

Anyway we’d better go. We’re meeting actual friends tonight and are so excited that we’re going to start getting ready now. Even though it’s 4.20. Yay! Sarah has lots of pretty new clothes to wear in a pre-emptive spending of her salary (but they’re clothes she can wear to work… allegedly).